Holiday Crazed Commander
by FeZeTh13
Summary: Commander Jane Shepard has always loved the holidays she celebrated back on Earth and now... she is bringing them aboard the Normandy with great vigor. Set in ME2 world.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello! FeZeTh13 here. This is my first fanfiction. Ever. I have read many incredible fanfiction's on here and thought I would play my hand. Though it kind of intimidates me. I hope you enjoy this as I kind of wrote while at work, and on receipt paper. Please review but please also be nice. I want critique not flame. Or just to know if you enjoyed it. Shepard is based off of my Jane Shepard who I am currently writing about but haven't yet finished. Earthborn, Sole Survivor, Paragon. **_

_**So while you read this I am going to go hide under a rock. Anxiously waiting. And peeking. **_

_**Ok so… Bioware owns all! I gives them big hugs for amazing games. **_

**THANKSGIVING ON THE NORMANDY**

"Did the Commander just run by with a turkey on her head?" was the question in the mess that morning. Eating breakfast, the early crew (and Miranda who was getting toast) were surprised to see Shepard up so early and running to the Main Battery… with something feathery on her head. Even more confusing was Legion walking out of the AI Core with an odd black hat and handing cards out to the crew.

"Garrus!" Shepard exclaims entering the room and the sleeping Turian rolls over to look at the intruder. He looks her over and upon seeing the feathery creature upon her head frowns.

"Didn't we dress up last month Shepard?" Garrus quips and Shepard smiles, plopping down beside him on his cot. She sneezes when a feather tickles her nose.

"Today is a different day Garrus! I came to give you this." She says pulling a card out of her side cargo pocket. "Thank you for going to hell and back twice, for always watching my six, and for being the most stylish best friend I could ask for." Shepard stands up, beaming at him.

"Ah. Its that day again." Garrus says looking at the card. "Well… uh…" Shepard notices he is put on the spot as well as still groggy from just waking. She was not just going to leave him hanging, and at least this year she did not have to explain the holiday.

"You don't have to say anything Garrus. It's an Earth holiday from my country, not a galactic holiday. I'm just letting you know how much I appreciate you."

"Yeah well, I appreciate you too Jane." He answers looking into her eyes and smiling a bit. She moves so fast he can't dodge.

"BFF's wear matching turkey hats! Here's yours!" She exclaims and stuffs a hat that was hiding under hers onto his head, takes a picture of them both, and runs out of the room cackling.

Garrus sits on his cot a little shocked and hears his omni-tool beep. The picture of the two of them displays and he notices a message below. _Why do you look so much better than me? :P_

"We both look ridiculous." Garrus answers and sneezes when a feather smacks his nose.

Shepard walks down the ramp toward the elevator trying not to laugh. Legion was still handing out her 'thank you' cards to the surprised crew. Their faces, oh their faces! She knew picking Legion and giving him the pilgrim hat would be awesome.

She looks down and takes her card for Tali and the bag of goodies for Jack out of her other cargo pocket when a pleasant hum from behind grabs her attention.

"Siha. Good-"Thane pauses for a second and cocks his head a little bit looking back and forth from her head to her face. "You are wearing a feather creature on your head?" He looks amused and confused.

"It's a turkey. Thanksgiving, an Earth holiday of my country is today." Shepard smiles as his small smirk forms on his lips, and she knows he is thinking that this explains nothing; except maybe a weird custom. The elevator opens behind her but she continues to talk. "You give thanks for what you are grateful for. I actually have a very special thank you upstairs in my quarters for tonight." Shepard says brightly.

"Kinky Shepard." Jack says stepping out of the elevator. Jack starts to laugh as Shepard looks confused and then blushes.

"That isn't what I meant." She growls and throws Jack's goodie food bag at the biotic who catches it and walks away smirking. Shepard looks back at Thane who has a twinkle in his eye and looks amused by her statement and blushing. "So don't go up to my room until I take you up there please." Thane nods once smiling and she steps into the elevator blowing him a quick kiss as the doors close. As the elevator goes down Shepard smirks. _He is going to go research this._

Shepard had a gift or card for everyone on her squad to say thanks.

Mordin and her talked (well he mostly talked, she listened) about the holiday. His questions were fun for her to answer as were the times where he would work out the answer to his question with reasoning and deduction. She always loved to watch him when he went on these.

Grunt was already modding his shotgun with the part she gave him.

She gave Samara some tea and promised to join her one day so they could just talk.

Miranda and Jacob, she gave them non-Cerberus uniforms. The rest of the crew just wore civilian clothing since they no longer liked the Illusive Man.

"You all ready to cook this meal?" She asks as she finally makes her way to the Mess where Gardner and two other crew members, who grew up on Earth, are waiting. The man, Franklin, brings out the giant screen that is going to hide the surprise dishes from the crew. Lily, the woman, starts getting out all the pots and pans.

Shepard was going to cook all the food for the alien crew. She made sure to look up and get everything she was going to need to make all their favorites. The four of them bustled about in the kitchen and while the crew couldn't see them, they could certainly hear them.

"Commander what is that?"

"Don't know but it's going in!"

"Shepard this turkey has no giblets!"

"Of course not! That stuff is disgusting and wrong! Here Franklin play with this."

"Is that supposed to be on fire Ma'am?"

"Yes actually."

Eventually the whole ship smelled like the different varieties of food. People were gathering trying to guess the smells of the food and wondering how long it would be before they could eat.

"Oh. It smells like Amarice. A fine food of my people." Samara comments and politely takes another sniff.

"I too smell a festive food of my people." Thane replies standing beside Samara.

They see the screen door open and Shepard comes out with an apron and oven mitts on. She smiles at the two and winks at Thane. He has never seen his Siha look so domestic and it makes his chest constrict sadly, but he decides he likes this new look.

Grunt is waiting for her at the elevator when she steps around the corner an amused smirk on her face, picturing Thane's face when he saw her. "You called for me Shepard?" Grunt growls out. "Do we get to eat now?" He asks looking toward the Mess.

"Oh. No. Almost. I just need your help with something."

"I don't cook."

"Yeah ok fine. I am making Krogan 'jungi' but I got confused with this one part. Oh well. This is the fun part about cooking. You get to experiment." She starts walking back toward the mess wearing a mean grin when Grunt goes after her.

"You do not experiment with Jungi. Bah. I will show you." Grunt growls and moves past Shepard toward the kitchen. She takes down the screen so he can fit and they are close enough to being done that the crew can look now. Everybody's mouth starts watering as the smell gets stronger and they see the display of food.

People were tripping over chairs at the sight of Grunt instructing Shepard in the kitchen and then they start arguing. Grunt won.

"Legion what are you wearing?" Tali asks as she and Jack stepped off the elevator. Legion was greeting them and handing them a card with a seating number.

"Shepard Commander gave us this hat and this task while explaining the holiday for we wish to learn more of organics. The extra hat with the feathers was for Garrus Vakarian." Legion answers and steps aside for them to pass.

"Garrus… feather… pfft." Tali laughs picturing Garrus in a hat matching Shepard's. The image sent her back to the first Normandy. "It's better than the cooked turkey hat she wore three years ago." She remarks to Jack who starts to laugh while Tali fondly demonstrated how the rubber hat would wiggle every time Shepard moved.

Everyone sits in their assigned seat- Kelly had made the arrangements- and the cooks bring out the food. Shepard sets out her alien dishes, placing each dish in front of their respective species. Garrus and Tali are surprised and pleased when she places multiple dishes in front of them. They couldn't try any of the other food, so she made sure they had plenty of their favorites but also the chance to try the other race's food.

"I smelled this earlier Shepard but I did not think- how did you know this was my favorite?" Samara asks and Shepard smiles.

"Research. The right questions and studying the recipe."

"Thank you Siha. This looks delicious." Thane says and takes her hand when she sits down in her set beside him.

"Got all the right ingredients. Some very hard to find. Very dedicated." Mordin says from her left and she turns to acknowledge him. "Much appreciated. Missed this."

"Yeah, I have been working on some of these for the last couple of nights." Shepard replies putting all kinds of food onto her plate.

"So you were the phantom noise I kept hearing at night." Miranda jabs and smirks.

"And why I was dreaming of Capich." Garrus plays along pointing to said dish.

Everyone laughed and Grunt, who had his plate piled high, started eating with vigor. The crew followed suit. Questions about the holiday went around the table and the three 'Earthlings' answered them. Then a giant thanksgiving and toast was made to defeating the Collectors and getting everyone out alive.

People were drunk and others were still drinking. People were too full to move. Shepard laughed when Kelly begged Samara to show her some moves from when she was a young Asari dancer. The two started while Legion played some music and Mordin danced giving the too -full crew a performance. Jacob was singing along (badly) to the music he recognized until he went to join Kelly on the dance floor.

She found Thane leaning against the Med-bay windows watching her and she sidles up to him, hooking her arms around one of his. Leaning over she whispers in his ear and he trills as they make their way to the elevator.

"I must admit I am looking forward to tonight Siha." Thane says as soon as the door closes and Shepard can feel and hear his pleased hum. She loves that sound and kisses his cheek.

"You are going to have to close your eyes love." He looks at her and she only smiles bigger cocking her head at him waiting for his answer. He smiles his little smile and closes his eyes. She takes both of his hands when the elevator opens and leads him into her room. "All right; wait here. I will tell you when to open your eyes." She says and knows he can hear her nervous tone and she lets go of his hands.

He heard her walk toward her bunk and heard some new rustling following her. He raised an eye ridge, his interest piqued. _What is it that she has done that makes that sound?_

"Ok Thane. Open your eyes." He hears her somewhat nervous whisper and opens his eyes.

His breath hitches in his lungs. There are notes hanging from the ceiling. Maybe a hundred if not a little more. He moved to read the first one and realized they were all handwritten. In his language. When did she manage such a feat?

"I translated everything I wanted to say into your language. I actually don't know what each particular one says anymore." Shepard says and lets out a small giggle. Thane reads the first one.

_Nobility _it said_._

_Devotion _says another_._

_Determined; Brave; Honorable; Worthy; Loving. _Every note had a different word or memory etched upon it.

_The first time you held me in your arms._

_When I saw my fish flying around my room in Krogan armor because I was high on you._

_That awkward dinner with Kolyat._

"These are the things about you that I am so grateful about. The way I see you." Shepard smiled as he read every note.

Thane could barely contain his emotions when he stepped in front of his Siha. He noticed she had one more sign she was holding up. She read it out loud as he read it.

"Thank you for being the most incredible man. A man I love, who blessedly and amazingly loves me back. You are everything I ever wanted, needed, and more." She pauses and he looks up at her beautiful eyes. "Sorry if that sounded lame I just-"Thane cuts off her insecurities with a searing kiss making her weak in the knees.

"Jane you are the most amazing woman. It is I who am very grateful to have you." Thane hums making her nerves tingle and her toes curl. He kisses her again and they give themselves completely to the other, thankful for having this time together.


	2. Christmas in The Desert

**I found it! Sorry this is SOOO late. Writer's block, then I lose what I did. Well I finally found it! Gah. It's so far away from Christmas. Oh well. I wanted it out there anyway. I hope you enjoy this! I also wanted to thank everyone who reviewed and alerted! You all made my day! Thank you!**

**Christmas in the desert**

Shepard feels something fuzzy touch her nose. Her face crinkles around her nose and she smacks it away… and then it came back and bopped her on the nose, waking her up. A white fuzzy ball hung in front of her face and a low vibrating chuckle came from above and behind her.

"Thane what are you-" She stops her question upon rolling over and he stood up. On his head was a Santa hat, fluffy white ball dangling on the right side of his head. She makes a face trying not to laugh but the feeling went away with what he said next.

"Merry Christmas Siha." He holds out a hand and she takes it, standing up and feeling giddy now.

"You- you remembered?" She breathes out and then face palms. "Duh. Of course you did!" she laughs and Thane smirks.

"Would you like some coffee Siha? Something to wake you up?" Thane asks walking toward the kitchen of their suite.

"Yes. Apparently brain to mouth functions don't work this early." She answers slipping into jean shorts and a tank.

"I heard that you are to wake up early on Christmas. I let you sleep in since we were… up so late last night." He says with an amused voice as Shepard looks over her shoulder at him smiling.

_Last night was a good night. _She thinks and puts her hair up in a loose ponytail, bangs hanging in her face. She walks behind him and wraps her arms around his waist, and places her chin on his shoulder. She could hear him hum happily and feel the vibrations send a shiver down her spine.

"I guess I just didn't expect you to do anything for it since it's a human holiday and we're on vacation in a desert." She says taking her mug.

"It is important to you. Of course I would do something." He turns holding his own mug and gestures to the living room. "I have a present for in the other room." Thane feels a jolt of excitement course through him when she grins really wide and, taking his hand, bolts into the other room. Only his assassin reflexes save his coffee.

Her breath catches in her throat when she sees the room. "A Christmas tree and lights? A light up reindeer? Where did you hide all of this?" She exclaims as she walks around the room taking everything in, cooing at the tree.

"I have my ways."

"Ah, I see you found my gift for you and put it under the tree. I guess I don't have 'my ways'." Shepard laughs.

"I believe you are to decorate the tree with… these?" Thane says and brings out a box of ornaments and tinsel.

"You are correct sir!" Shepard says and takes a red bauble. She looks up at his smiling face. "Thank you Thane. This is amazing." She lowers her eyes feeling embarrassed. He croons a low sound. A question of concern. "Sorry I get like… this." She says waving her arms a little bit.

"Jane, you are a delight to watch and you should not be embarrassed. Seeing you this joyful is contagious. I am enjoying your holiday." She looks up and gives him a grand smile as he trills his emotions to her.

"I think it is because of my life on Earth really." She starts putting the ornaments onto the tree and Thane joins her.

"Tell me." He says gently.

"Well, you know how I grew up an orphan. I lived in the orphanage for six years with an incredibly kind mistress. She mad every holiday special and a big event. But when I was six, this terrible lady bought the orphanage and took over. She made everything awful. No idea why she even did it. I gave her hell." Shepard and Thane both laugh. She had already shared some of this with him, but decided to give basics so he could fully understand where she was coming from.

"I was kicked out at ten years old. Anyway, I would always sneak back into the orphanage to give the kids a holiday to be happy about. I always dressed up to match the holiday. On Christmas, I was Santa's secret agent elf. I did this until I joined the Alliance because by then, the evil mistress was killed by the gangs and the lady that raised me my first six years was head again. So I guess, all in all, I have always acted like a child to get everyone still at the orphanage the holiday spirit. It seems to have stuck with me all these years later." She shrugs and then starts telling him of her magical fifth Christmas and things that she did for the kids.

"Oh that's all the ornaments! Time for tinsel!" Shepard grabs the container of tinsel and hands some to Thane. He looks at it confused.

"I must admit, I do not know how to properly use this." He says still looking at the tinsel in his hands.

"Watch me." Shepard replies and takes a few of her strands and lightly throws them on the tree. " You just kind of sprinkle them on the tree." Thane turns around, going to the other side of the tree and mimics her. Shepard looks down and sees that they have WAY TOO MUCH tinsel for this tree. A wicked grin crosses her face as she takes a hefty amount. Taking a small chunk, she throws it just a little too far.

"Siha, your aim is bad." Thane comments from the other side of the tree. "This is most unusual." More tinsel showers him and he pokes his head around to see if Shepard was doing this blindfolded.

"Jane what are you-" He gets out before a giant poof of tinsel covers his face and cuts off his words.

Shepard laughs. At both the sight he now makes and the surprised noise that managed to escape him. With all his poise, he takes the tinsel off his face and stares at her. "It is to be a war then." He comments and seems to disappear. She dives for the box by her foot and searches for him.

_Oh I hate it when he does that. So damn sexy. And deadly._

She doesn't get to think much more as she catches movement to her left and a glittering ball heading her way. She dives out of the way, throwing her strings of tinsel at him now that he has reappeared. They dance around and under the tree, fountains of tinsel landing on the tree, floor, and themselves.

Shepard jumps out from behind the tree toward him when she realized he is not there. Suddenly her vision is filled with silver and she laughs as he seems to dump the rest of the box on her head. Her arms are caught up and pinned behind her and she tries to wiggle out of his grasp. They are face to face, tinsel hanging in their eyes.

"Do you surrender Siha?" He whispers and she shivers, causing him to make an amused hum.

She looks him long in the eyes and then smirks. "I surrender Ser Krios." He nods, his victory evident and she turns to look at the tree. The ornaments are nicely hung and the tinsel looks like it exploded. "I like it." She remarks and he chuckles.

Stooping down, she picks up her present for him. He is walking back to her when she turns to face him, holding a box out to her. Smiling, they exchange gifts. He is much more dignified in opening his.

A picture frame. A picture frame that held constantly changing holographic pictures. He must have taken these from every ones omni-tools and EDI's records. Mordin and her singing in his lab; Miranda and her having one of their famous face-offs; Garrus and her wearing their matching turkey hats; She looking very confused as Legion and Tali tried to explain something high tech; Grunt and her, bloodied, standing by a dead Thresher Maw; finding her biotic center with Samara; her excitement when Jacob was showing her the new mods he made to her heavy guns; She and Jack stripping all the Cerberus logos from the ship; Thane and her sharing a kiss after the suicide mission.

_Oh my gosh. Thane!_ She remembers and looks up to see him smiling at her. She has no idea how long she had been watching the pictures change and blushes. "Sorry, I seemed to have gotten lost. This is wonderful, absolutely amazing. Just what I wanted. Thank you Thane."

"You are welcome Siha. I am glad that you enjoy it." He says as she kisses his cheek and then he looks down at his present. "I do not understand my present Siha." It was a copy of a ticket of arrival here.

"Kolyat is coming tomorrow." She gets out real quickly hoping that he would like this idea. "It's a Drell holiday correct? One meant for family? He has already agreed and I bought his ticket. I REALLY hope this is ok." He rereads the ticket and reaches for her hand.

"I have not celebrated this holiday in ten years." He looks up at her smiling. "It will be nice to do so again with my son. This is perfect. Thank you Jane."

"We already have most of the details worked out. Figure out the rest tomorrow." She says as he hugs her.

"Merry Christmas Jane."  
>"Merry Christmas Thane."<p>

They stay like that for a while just enjoying the others presence, when Shepard spots something on the far side of the room.

"Oh my gosh! You found old Earth Vids of Christmas? MARATHON! THANE I LOVE YOU!"

**I think I just set myself up for another chapter. This was supposed to be the last. Oh well, I already have some ideas. This Jane Shepard is based on my Shepard who I am currently in the process of writing. She loves to record everything on video and on pictures, but has never had time to just put them in anything like the picture frame Thane gave her. So I hope you all liked it and thank you for reading! **

**FeZeTh13**


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